Warning signs to watch for
You know your child better than anyone. These behavioural changes can indicate something is wrong online. None alone is proof — but any pattern worth a warm, open conversation.
💛 Before you read — important context
These warning signs are drawn from guidance by the NSPCC, CEOP, Childline, and Internet Matters. They are indicators — not proof. Children go through behavioural changes for many reasons, most of which have nothing to do with online harm.
The most important thing is not surveillance — it's keeping the conversation open. If you notice several of these signs together, or a sudden change from your child's usual behaviour, trust your instincts and start a gentle, non-accusatory conversation. See our conversation guide for the right words to use.
If you believe something harmful has already happened, go to our get help now page for step-by-step guidance and emergency contacts.
Behavioural changes to watch for
Filter by concern level or view all. Remember — context and pattern matter more than any single sign.
Hiding the screen or switching apps when you come near
A sudden, consistent change in device behaviour — especially if your child was open before — is one of the strongest indicators. Ask yourself whether this is new behaviour, and whether it started recently.
Receiving unexplained gifts, money, or items
New items — game credits, real money, physical gifts — that your child cannot explain are a very significant warning sign. Gifting is a well-documented early stage of grooming. Ask calmly where things came from.
Becoming very upset, distressed or angry when access is removed
Beyond typical frustration — extreme distress that seems disproportionate can indicate either a dependency or an active conversation they cannot interrupt. Note how long it lasts and what their mood is like afterwards.
Signs of self-harm or significant deterioration in mental health
Social media and gaming content — particularly algorithmic recommendation of self-harm or eating disorder material — can be a contributing factor. If you observe signs of self-harm, contact your GP urgently. Childline counsellors are available at 0800 1111.
Evidence of contact with someone much older
Messages, usernames, or references to someone who seems significantly older than your child — particularly if your child is defensive about or secretive about this person. Cross-age online friendships are not always harmful, but require a gentle, open conversation.
Your child mentions wanting to meet someone they know only online
Any suggestion of meeting an online contact in person — however innocent it sounds — requires an immediate, calm conversation. This is the step at which online harm most frequently becomes real-world harm.
Your child tells you — or hints — that someone online has asked for photos
Even oblique references to this — "someone online is being weird" — should be taken seriously and followed up immediately. If this has already happened, do not react with anger. Go to our get help now page for the exact steps to take.
Withdrawal or mood changes after being online
A consistent pattern of going online in a good mood and coming off anxious, irritable, or low is a meaningful signal. This can indicate cyberbullying, harmful content exposure, or social comparison. Note whether it's linked to a specific app or time of day.
Talking about a new online "friend" you've never heard of
Online friendships are normal and not inherently dangerous. The concern arises when the friendship is with someone unknown to any real-world connection, is being kept secret, or when your child becomes defensive or protective of the relationship.
Being online very late at night or waking early to go online
Disrupted sleep from online activity is both a warning sign and a risk factor in itself — sleep deprivation compounds mental health issues and makes children more vulnerable to manipulation. Address device curfews before this becomes entrenched.
Avoiding school or activities they previously enjoyed
Cyberbullying often bleeds into real life — the child being bullied online dreads seeing those people at school. A sudden drop in enthusiasm for school, clubs, or social events warrants a gentle conversation about whether anything online is contributing.
Increased secrecy about what they're doing online
Some privacy is healthy and appropriate, particularly for teenagers. The concern is a sudden shift — a child who was previously open about their online activity becoming secretive. This is different from normal growing independence.
Significant changes in body confidence or frequent negative self-talk after social media
Social media comparison culture has measurable negative effects on body image, particularly in girls aged 11–17. Increased self-criticism about appearance, particularly linked to social media use, is worth gentle exploration.
Unexplained spending or requests for money or gift cards
In-game spending, loot boxes, and sextortion demands can all lead to children asking for money or gift cards unexpectedly. If they're vague about what it's for, that's worth following up on calmly.
Using devices in very private or unusual locations
Consistently taking devices to the bathroom, bedroom late at night, or other private spaces specifically to use them can indicate content or conversations they don't want observed. Create family norms around where devices are used that apply to everyone.
Seeming more emotionally connected to an app or online persona than to real people
Particularly relevant with AI companion apps. If your child seems more interested in talking to an AI character than to family or friends, or becomes distressed when separated from a specific app, this warrants a gentle conversation and review of our AI chatbots guide.
Becoming defensive or upset when you ask about what they do online
Some defensiveness is normal — teenagers value privacy. Disproportionate anxiety, anger, or upset when the topic is raised gently is different. It can indicate shame, fear of getting in trouble, or an active situation they're trying to manage alone.
What to do if you've spotted warning signs
Need to talk to someone right now?
NSPCC Helpline for adults worried about a child: 0808 800 5000 — free, Mon–Fri 8am–10pm, weekends 9am–6pm. Or for the child directly: Childline 0800 1111 — free, 24/7.